Not for Self, but for Others

Men’s Bible Study: Not for Self, but for Others

Objective: Explore the motto of James Oglethorpe and the Georgia colony — Non sibi sed aliis (“Not for self, but for others”) — and apply it to biblical manhood. God calls us to reject self-centered living and embrace a life of service, sacrifice, and love for others, just as Christ did.

Opening (approx. 10 minutes)

Leader reads aloud: “James Oglethorpe and the trustees who founded the colony of Georgia in 1733 lived by a powerful Latin motto: Non sibi sed aliis — ‘Not for self, but for others.’ They chose to create a place for the poor, the imprisoned, and the overlooked rather than seek personal wealth and power. That same challenge confronts us as men today. Our culture screams ‘Look out for yourself,’ ‘You do you,’ and ‘Get yours first.’ But the Bible calls us to a radically different life — a life poured out for God and for others. Jesus Himself said He came not to be served, but to serve. Today we will examine what it means for us — as husbands, fathers, workers, and brothers in Christ — to live ‘not for self, but for others.’ This is the heart of godly manhood.”

Icebreaker Question (1–2 minutes each):
When have you seen a man live “not for self, but for others”? What impact did it have?

Key Verse to Read Aloud (group reads together):

“For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.” (Mark 10:45, ESV)

Main Teaching / Scripture Study (20–25 minutes)

1. The Problem of Self
Read: Philippians 2:3-4, James 3:14-16

• Selfishness, selfish ambition, and conceit are natural to us — and they destroy relationships, marriages, churches, and legacies.

2. The Example of Christ
Read: Philippians 2:5-8, Mark 10:42-45

• Jesus, though equal with God, emptied Himself, took the form of a servant, and died for us.
• True greatness in God’s kingdom is measured by how much we serve, not how much we are served.

3. The Call to Live for Others
Read: Galatians 5:13, 1 John 3:16-18, Romans 12:10-13

• We are freed from sin so we can serve one another in love.
• Love is practical: meeting needs, showing hospitality, honoring others above ourselves.
• Oglethorpe’s motto echoes the gospel — sacrifice for the good of others and the glory of God.

Core Truths for Men:

1. Self-centered living feels good short-term but leaves emptiness and broken relationships.
2. Servant-hearted living reflects Jesus and produces lasting fruit.
3. Living “not for self” starts at home (with your wife and kids) and extends to church, work, and community.
4. This is costly — but worth it.

Discussion Questions (25–35 minutes)

1. Where in your life right now is self-interest most tempting you (career, time, money, comfort, hobbies)?
2. How does living “not for self, but for others” look different in your marriage and parenting?
3. Share a time when someone served you sacrificially. How did it affect you?
4. Read Mark 10:45 again. What would it look like this week for you to live like Jesus in one specific area?
5. As a group of men, how can we encourage and hold one another accountable to this kind of life?

Application / Action Steps (10 minutes)

Choose one this week:

• Do one daily act of unseen service for your wife or children (no expectation of thanks).
• Look for a need in your church or community and meet it without being asked.
• Memorize Mark 10:45 or Philippians 2:3-4.
• Have a conversation with your kids about what it means to live “not for self, but for others.”
• Pray daily: “Lord, help me live not for self, but for You and for others.”

Challenge: Text a brother in the group mid-week and share one way you chose others over self.

Closing Prayer (COP)

Gather in a circle and pray. Thank God for the example of Jesus, the ultimate Servant. Confess areas of selfishness. Ask the Holy Spirit to fill you with love that overflows in service. Commit as men to live by the motto “Not for self, but for others” — for the glory of Christ and the good of those around you.

Takeaway:
A real man is not the one who gains the most for himself. He is the one who gives the most away — not for self, but for others — following in the footsteps of Jesus.

This study runs about 70–90 minutes. It pairs well with the previous study on “Wisdom over Knowledge, Service Beyond Self, Honor Above All.” Use it to keep building strong, Christ-centered men in your group.